I wake up, not in the middle of the night, but in the middle of loneliness...

I wake up. Sometimes, at night, we all wake up. Some wake up to pee, others to drink some water, but, usually when I wake up, I don’t need to pee, I’m not thirsty, so, why the hell do I wake up? I mean, it’s a reasonable question… and, last night, I figured it out. I woke up at 6a.m. and I couldn’t go to sleep, I was awake for almost an hour, and then, it hit me, I was alone, it was 6:50 in the morning, I was at home, in my bedroom, my safe place, but I was feeling lonely, because from all the people I know, very few understand me, and I haven’t talked to one of them in days, I mean, really talked.

So, I started thinking, and thinking and I realized how weird my life sounds, I mean, my best boyfriend is my ex-boyfriend, my best girlfriend once slapped me because of another girl, the guy I like is a man whore (okay, that part is normal), one of the guys I trust the most is the guy that broke my heart and trust so hard that it’s still really hard for me to let people in, one of the girls I trusted the most in the past, is one of the girls I trust the least now, and it goes on, and on… so, yeah, I’m screwed up, but who isn’t?! Yeah, I wake up at night, but who doesn’t?! Yeah, I fell in love with the wrong guy, but who hasn’t?!  Yes, I am lonely, but who cares?!?